The Best Strip Clubs in Brisbane

Brisbane has eight strip clubs we can point you to with confidence, and they fall into two clusters. Five are in Fortitude Valley, on or just off Brunswick Street. Two are in the CBD on Queen Street. Honey B's sits on its own on Caxton Street, near Suncorp Stadium.

Here they are in the order we would send someone, with the reasoning underneath.

We ranked on what each room does best, how much of a night it can carry, and what the people who have been there say about it.

Showgirls goes first. It has been on Queen Street Mall since 1994 by its own account, and no other club here fits as much under one roof: VIP booths around a rotating stage, spa shows in a private lap-dance area, and an arcade with pool and air hockey.

Love & Rockets and Honey B's come next, and they are best read as a pair. One operator runs both, and it advertises a deal where the entry you pay at one gets you into the other. So the obvious night is to start on Caxton Street and finish in the Valley, or the other way round.

The Cabaret Night Club follows, on Brunswick Street. Candy Club fills four levels on Wickham Street, across from the Chinatown Mall. Vixen is the CBD alternative to Showgirls, a first-floor room on Queen Street that sells itself on whisky and cocktails as much as the stage.

Eye Candy and KKlub close the list. They share a single block of Brunswick Street with The Cabaret Night Club, close enough to treat as one stop and walk between.

Fortitude Valley carries most of it. The Cabaret Night Club, KKlub and Eye Candy are a short walk apart on Brunswick Street, with Eye Candy across the road from Fortitude Valley station. Candy Club is round the corner on Wickham Street, and Love & Rockets is on Ann Street.

In the CBD, Showgirls is on the Queen Street Mall and Vixen is further along Queen Street, on the first floor.

Honey B's is the outlier, on Caxton Street, away from both clusters. Its own site puts it minutes from Suncorp Stadium and pitches itself at the after-game crowd.

Love & Rockets leans on its fitout, a space theme it calls Enterprise-inspired, with nine private booths and a separate lap room with its own bar. Honey B's is the sports-night version of the same operator, built around booths for groups coming out of a game.

The Cabaret Night Club runs over three levels, with its main stage downstairs and VIP suites upstairs. Eye Candy is the most casual of the lot: bikini-clad dancers, sport on the screens, and a short week. KKlub is the one to remember on a quiet night, because it says it opens every night of the week.

If the vocabulary is new: a lap dance and a private dance are not always the same thing, and striptease is the stage show itself. Heading south? We have done the same for Sydney and Melbourne.

We hold more Brisbane clubs than the eight above. Several are missing because we could not confirm this week that they are still open: their websites have stopped answering or their web addresses have lapsed, and that is not enough to send you across town on. It is not us saying they have closed. It is us saying we do not know.

If any of them comes back, it goes on the list.